Chrimbo-limbo – the gloopy non-time between Christmas and New Year – is upon us. Should I be in work today? Cheese board for lunch again? Is it still acceptable to listen to Christmas music? For those who wish Christmas might still Stay Another Day (get it? Get it?!), read on…
To raise money this festive season, Refuge (a charity against domestic violence) released a set of ‘hyrrs’: hymns made feminist. With ‘Female Sexual Pleasure’ sung to the tune of ‘In the Bleak Midwinter’, and ‘Oh Christmas Tree’ replaced by ‘Oh Sexism!’, the all-empowering hyrrs will make you laugh and rage at once.
Inspired, I reworked a couple of verses from popular Christmas songs to present a Christmas safe and inclusive.
To the tune of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’
I saw Mommy reject Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He smiled and turned away,
Wished her a good Christmas day.
"Consent is cool!" cheered Santa
As he rode off on his sleigh.
To the tune of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'
Rudolph came out as genderqueer to friends and fam on Christmas day.
Society’s gender binary didn’t fit them either way.
All of their friends and family began to get their pronouns right.
So Rudolph felt much better and their future looked so bright.
On a more sombre note, not everyone experiences the same respect as Mommy and Rudolph in my verses. Christmas can be a very difficult time of year, especially for those whose friends, families, and communities turn them away or mistreat them because of their gender, sexuality, race, disability, or religion.
We hope you have all had a very safe and very happy festive season.
For those in need:
http://www.leedswomensaid.co.uk/ - Leeds charity protecting women and children from domestic abuse
http://www.mesmac.co.uk/ - Yorkshire-based sexual health organisation
http://www.lslcs.org.uk/ - Leeds-based mental health charity
Title image sourced via Village Bakery